Samantha's Song

A Mother's Prayer

2009-10-12T15:45:00.003-04:00

Today, I didn't say the right things
I didn't give enough hugs
I didn't listen to their imaginary stories

Today my prayers were too short and
my lectures too long,
my smiles didn't hide my fatigue

But as I kneel in prayer to confess my failures, I am reminded...
I am not their hope,
I am not their joy,
I am not their salvation,
He is!

And they are His children even more than they are mine.

I am reminded....
He always listens,
always guides,
always touches,
and always loves perfectly.

I can rest now, Lord,
remembering that I am not alone.

by Wendy C. Brewer

Lizzy

2009-08-24T16:47:00.002-04:00

This is Lizzy! Mike, Summer & I brought her home at 3 months old. She has a warped heart marking that, at certain angles, looks like a perfect heart. And what a great personality!! She is already part of the family!!! And just today we found out Lizzy's little sister was born (August 20th). So, in about 8 weeks we will bring another puppy home.

God is moving in my children's hearts

2009-08-10T14:32:00.005-04:00

I feel so extremely blessed these days.

The month of June I spent with Joseph. It was great quality time for us. He has matured, noticeably, in just a few short months! Polite, respectful, obedient...I owe these things to time spent with his dad. He also is reading a chapter from his bible every night and excited about it. A few weeks later he went to Hume Lake Christian Camp and came back excited about his faith and new Christian friends he had met. He even said "chapel time" was his favorite part of the week. I expected him to say that the water activities or games were his favorite, but he spoke very little about that and a lot about the sermons, and one that even made him tear up! His dad says he is even trying to write his own worship songs now. God is moving in his young heart. My prayer has always been that he would grow in Jesus' truth and wisdom, just as Joseph of ancient days.

And then there is my sweet daughter. Summer has always had eyes focused on Jesus. Sometimes "self" gets in the way, but she has always had a sensitive heart. Over the weekend she led her friend to the Lord. It was so sweet and simple and natural. I was proud of her non-the-less. She was sensitive to the Lords leading and she wasn't afraid. Praise the Lord. As much as I have screwed up as a parent, I see God working anyway!

He has blessed me beyond anything I will ever deserve.

Work

2009-03-31T04:23:00.003-04:00

So, I went to nursing school to become an LPN. Then I went back to school to get my massage therapy license. This week I start a new job working as a massage therapists while retaining my job as a nurse, thus putting me at work 6 days a week....while still home Schooling Summer. Not to mention spending time with Mike. Am I crazy!! Why do I do this to myself, and to those I love?

O.k. so I want to buy a house. In some ways, I feel like I am incomplete without the pride of home ownership and the sense that I am investing my money and not throwing it away.

But, looking back I think of being a single mom and dealing with the stresses that come with owning a home. Right now I live in a nice little apartment. And, actually it's not that little...afterall, it's just Summer and I. We have a pool and a gym. Landscapers keep the grounds beautiful. It's quiet. If something goes wrong I just have to make a simple phone call, and there is no extra charge. No unexpected increases in property tax or broken air condition units to replace. I also don't have to stress about my property losing value in this economic crisis. I am actually able to save, and if I wait long enough I may even be able to buy a home with cash!!

So, should I work 6 days a week, miss out on valuable time with my children, Mike and friends.... just so I can buy a house..... which will only increase my stress level and deplete my savings??? I think I have my answer. Lord, help me be content with my simple lifestyle.

Life For Me

2009-03-04T23:00:00.002-05:00

Working Graveyard Shift, Starting my massage business, Homeschooling, Bills, Missing my Joseph, Time with my Lord, Time with my Mike......this pretty much sums up my life right now. It's busy and I'm tired but life is good.

2008-12-18T06:14:00.001-05:00

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

~ Proverbs 4:23

This scripture doesn't say "harden" our hearts. It says "Guard" our hearts. There is a difference. I think sometimes I get confused between the two.

2008-07-21T10:19:00.002-04:00

Charm is Deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Sometimes it is so easy for me to get caught up in the world and it's ways and demands that I forget who the most important part of my life is.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. Psalm 51:12

My Summer Girl!

2008-07-10T15:49:00.005-04:00

I love my daughter!!!!.........

Another July 4th come and gone....

2008-07-06T20:05:00.007-04:00

There is something about the 4th of July that makes me reflect on years gone past than any other holiday. I just love to sit and watch the fireworks and think about where I was last year and the year before and the year before.......both physically and spiritually. Last year I was still in Kentucky anticipating my move back to Las Vegas. Was I making the right move? Where would I be a year from now? What plans did the Lord have for me? I just praise the Lord for what he has done in my life in a year.....My relationship with my parents is going so amazing, Joseph is spending much needed quality time with his dad this summer while I spend quality time with my Summer, I love the school I am attending, I love the friendships I have been able to nurture since being back in Vegas, and I am in love with a man I know God hand picked for me....whom I would never have met if I had stayed in my beloved Kentucky home. My lord is such an awesome God. But if he took this all away from me I would still praise him.

A New Path

2008-05-25T11:18:00.003-04:00

How the Lord leads our life through turns and twists. If we want to live in peace, we need to be willing to follow that path and try not to take our own path. I desire to live my life for the Lord Jesus Christ, without questioning his leading.

Since I last wrote many things have changed, hence the turns and twists on my path. At the beginning of the year I made it my new years resolution to not procrastinate in my life anymore. I made a list of things I had been putting off. It is amazing what a new year can do for the will. I quickly set out and made many new and productive changes. It was amazing how easy it was. I love checking things off a list!!

By the time April 1st came around I was very frustrated again. I had started working full time at the pharmaceutical research company, my hours were unmanageable (my schedule changed on a daily basis), I was trying to self study microbiology (which I think is impossible), the completion of my RN was looking too far away, living with my parents permanently was looking more like a reality than I was willing to admit. I literally felt like I was having a mental meltdown. So, I did something I have never done in my life....I quit my job without giving any notice. I just e-mailed my resignation. Then I spent a whole weekend praying about what I was suppose to do. And then it just came to me. The Lord was speaking to me about going to massage therapy school. It was amazing how his peace just overwhelmed me. At first it seemed so far off track, but then, as it sunk in, it made so much sense. I had gone into nursing school because I wanted to be able to help people in a practical way. I wanted to be able to serve people. But as I started thinking about all the health benefits massage offers and how I could actually combine my experience as a nurse with massage, this path just became so clear. So, I started massage school one week later and I haven't been happier. I am finding that my nursing background is actually benefiting me in school. My instructor is also a chiropractor and brings with him a wealth of holistic healthcare experience. It is truly amazing how the Lord has leads.

Back In Vegas

2007-08-13T18:00:00.001-04:00

I have been back in Las Vegas for 2 months now. It has been quite an adjustment for the kids and I, but God is good. There is a lot of character building going on (translation: it hasn't been easy). As expected, living with my parents has proved to be a challenge.

For the first month I tried to homeschool the kids..........it didn't go over well with my parents! To appease the living situation and to give myself more time to study, I , with a heavy heart, sent the kids to school. It has proved to have it's good points. There is much less tension with my parents. I have more time to study and rest. The kids and I walk to school everyday which gives us plenty of time to talk, memorize Bible verses, and get exercise at the same time.

Besides school for both the kids and I, we are taking a Judo class, the kids are in Awana and we are spending lots of time with family and friends we have been away from for so long. I am also working for a pharmaceutical research company part-time as a Research Associate (i.e. nurse). Church............we haven't decided. We have been church hopping, just praying about where we should stay. It was great to visit Apex!! It felt good to be back with "family".

Well, there is a (sort of) quick update. I don't know when I will write next. School, I am sure, will prove to be very time consuming................

We Love Our Cat

2007-08-13T17:41:00.001-04:00

One day the kids decided they wanted to have a photo shoot with CoCo as the star. CoCo laying on the bed; CoCo under the bed; CoCo next to a plant; CoCo in the shower; CoCo drinking her water; CoCo with a scarf wrapped around her neck; CoCo on the excercise ball.........well, you get the picture (no pun intended) :)

Alicia & Zach's Wedding - July 28, 2007

2007-08-06T20:56:00.001-04:00

I was so excited to get the wonderful privilege of being able to attend Alicia & Zach's wedding. What a wonderful time. After so many years, following the "saga" of Alicia & Zach, through my friendship with Alicia, they are finally together!!! Just to think....if my house would not have sold when it did, I would not have been able to attend. Summer and I made it a night out on the town. We enjoyed a wonderfully romantic wedding ceremony, catching up with "old" friends, good food, fun dancing. Alicia, I am soooooooooo happy for you!!!!! Can't wait to spend time with you now that I am back in Vegas.

Dawn & I in Vegas

2007-07-23T23:55:00.002-04:00

Dawn and I had a great time in Vegas. Of course, this being Dawn's first time in town, I took her down to see all the sights. My parents loved her and I think it was mutual. Saturday I dropped Dawn off at the airport which was very emotional for me. I said "goodbye" to this really great part of my life....not forever, but in the comfortable way it was like for so long. Dawn, Brittney and I were known as the "primp click" around work......I will miss that.........movie nights, waxing our eyebrows, chair races, slumber parties, stand-up comedy with Dawn, East Wing....oh yea, sometimes we worked too :) I won't ever have that part of my life back...most likely I won't live in Kentucky again. I have moved on I guess. But I will always cherish that time. Thank you Dawn for helping me become a better nurse and for being my friend through so many rough spots.

Moving Back to Vegas

2007-07-23T23:07:00.001-04:00

Dawn, CoCo the kitten, Julie the bird & I piled up in a 26 foot Penske truck with my car attached to the back and headed out on our road trip.

Although it took us 2 hours just to get out of Louisville (we got lost on a detour around downtown Louisville....me driving this huge truck down 1 way streets with people actually standing out on their front porch watching us) we finally made it out of town. We drove straight through to Denver without more than an hour of sleep (at least for me......Dawn had no problem.........see the picture of CoCo sleeping on top of her). We left Monday afternoon and made it to Denver Tuesday afternoon.
Thanks to my old friend Pat (I mean Brian) we found a nice hotel to stay in and spent a nice dinner catching up with Brian about old times. We were friends back in high school........St. Julies, Hi-Tops, beach parties, double dates, etc. Fun, Fun, Fun!!!

Wednesday morning Dawn & I were back on the road ready to head up through the Rockies. One snag, we were almost out of gas, couldn't find a gas station with diesel, passed the freeway we needed to take and the alarm started going off in the truck saying that we needed to fill up NOW!! We must of both sent up some prayers because right at that moment we looked over and there was a diesel gas station to our rescue. That was a close call!!!!

Missouri was boring! Kansas was even worse! Then we made it to Colorado.....The Rockies were beautiful! Utah was beautiful! But nothing is more spectacular than seeing the Las Vegas lights at night. Especially seeing it through someone's eyes who has never been there before. Very cool.............

Moving Back to Vegas

2007-07-23T22:58:00.000-04:00

Exactly two weeks after accepting an offer on my house I am packed up and ready to head back to Vegas. The kids are still in California with their dad so my friend Dawn & I are heading out on sort of a Thelma & Louise type of adventure....except no cheap motels or driving ourselves straight off a cliff....

"He Will Be Our Guide" Psalm 48:14

2007-06-30T08:12:00.000-04:00

God wants to speak to us on a one-to-one basis. He wants to lead us step by step into the good things He has in store for us. The psalmist, David, wrote "All the days of my life were written before they ever came to be" Psalm 139:16. Paul said that God determined the times set for us and the exact places we should live in Acts 17:26.

For close to 3 years Crestwood Kentucky has been the place Joseph, Summer and I have called "home". In the last few months God has been speaking to my heart.....leading me away from here. At first I didn't know if it was really God's voice I was hearing and I fought it. Now I know that His leading is very clear.

I put my house up for sale 2 months ago, during a time when houses are sitting on the market for months and months and months. I began to pray with Jeanette about it, knowing that if it was God's will it would sell in his timing. Well, as usual God's timing is absolutely, undeniably perfect! A possible offer was in the works right before I left on vacation. This stressed me out because they were asking if I could be out in 3 weeks which would be only days after I returned from vacation. Well, the people dropped off the face of the earth, leaving me relieved and disappointed at the same time. Now, I had been praying that if I sold my house after July 1st I would stay in Kentucky for 1 more year. If I sold it before then I would move back to Las Vegas. The day I got back from vacation, June 28th, I got an offer on my house and we signed the papers on June 29th! If that wasn't God leading I don't know what is!!!! Not only that, my children are in California with their dad for the next month, which leaves me with lots of time to pack and plan. Also, My friend Dawn has decided to drive with me across country!! Praise God. I shouldn't be surprised by all this...because God always does things way better than I could ever plan.

So, I am heading back to Vegas to the next stage of this adventure I call "my life".

Summer's Birthday Tea Party

2007-06-28T01:31:00.001-04:00

We just spent a couple weeks in Vegas, spending time with friends and family. It was so great to spend time with those we love. This was our first visit back in almost 3 years, since moving. Thank you mom and dad for your hospitality. Thank you Thelma and grandma for putting on a beautiful tea party for Summer's birthday. Thank you to Jeneen and Troy for spoiling my kids!! Thank You Clint for spoiling me!! It was awesome to spend time with the von Collenberg family, Chris and kids, Alicia, Amy, Michelle and of course, last but not least, Ilona. Our 6 mile hike up near Mt. Charleston was awesome. I am home now...my children are not. They are spending a month in California with their dad. It has only been two days and I miss my babies so much!! Take good care of them Jeff! Well, back to the grind...........

Words of Wisdom

2007-02-28T21:12:00.001-05:00

John Cooper of Skillet wrote these words................Let us all ask God to kill the desire for worldliness in our hearts. Let's stop feeding that desire. If we do not, we will get to the end of our lives with regret, knowing we had a chance to do something extraordinary, but we traded it for temporary satisfaction. The choice is yours. How long will you sleep?

Is my life meaningful? What will Jesus say about my life? Will I be ashamed? Will my kids know what is important in life? Will they know how much I loved them? Have I taught them what it means to love and adore Jesus?

How I want my life defined...

2007-02-22T20:25:00.000-05:00

PSALM 119:129-136

Your statues are wonderful; therefore I obey them.
The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.
I open my mouth and pant, longing for your commands.
Turn to me and have mercy on me, as you always do to those who love your name.
Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.
Redeem me from the oppression of men, that I may obey your precepts.
Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees.
Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed...(often times by me).

Will I ever get to the point where I want to please you Lord more than I want to please myself?

God is Good

2007-02-17T00:23:00.000-05:00

I am praising God these days. He has brought me through a very painful time, filled with depression and hopelessness. Why do I loose my focus on God so easily? It all started in December. So much of my life was put into question. What is my purpose? Who is my true family? Where is home? Am I really loved by my God? Am I valuable? Things I know in my head....but my heart had a difficult time catching up. But, I feel a stirring in my spirit. Things the Lord placed there years ago. Things that I can't fully comprehend right now. Things I won't even share in my blog, because it is not the right time. But there is one thing I know...I refuse to let my life be status quo from this point on. Please pray for my children and I. Pray that we will be carried in the palm of Jesus hands while we begin this huge transition in our lives.

Falling In Love With A Gorrilla

2006-12-18T14:20:00.000-05:00

Joseph wrote an extremely cute song about how it is good to fall in love with a gorrilla. It made me laugh out loud. To be a kid again.

We have also added a new member to our family. Her name is Julie and she is a parakeet. She is the kids Christmas present from me and what fun we are having with her (the cats are too :)

2006-11-30T16:22:00.000-05:00

My parents are coming to stay with the kids and I for the holidays! I am so excited! It gets lonely, sometimes, not having family around. Plus, my dad is going to help me with some "handyman" things around the house :)

An Early Christmas/Thanksgiving

2006-11-15T12:17:00.001-05:00

The kids and I just got back from a trip up to Northern Wisconsin to meet and spend an early holiday with Dan's family. Joseph & Summer got to fly in their first airplane. It was fun experiencing flying through their eyes. I have flown so many times it made it feel like the first time again. The trip itself was half the fun (although, admittedly, stressful at the same time).

It was so good to meet Dan's family. I know, now, why he is such a good man. The kids and I were treated wonderfully, like we were part of the family. The home where Dan's parents live is the same house Dan grew up in. 40 acres of land was plenty of room to have fun on a 4 wheeler, which the kids begged to ride on over and over! There was gifts and food galore. Fun and laughter and good conversation, as well.

A Medley

2006-11-09T05:42:00.002-05:00

Life has been busy for us. Lots going on. But whats' new? Dan came out to visit for a week at the beginning of October. We all had a great time. We visited Mammoth Caves, had friends over, watched lots of movies, had a couple date nights.....and then a week and a half after that I surprised Dan in Seattle for our birthday. His friends John & Ann planned the whole thing. It was fun! I was there for just a couple days but it was nice and relaxing. We spent time with Dan's horses and visited a couple wineries.

I also put my house up for sale! This has been a huge decision for me. But I really do feel like this is what the Lord is having me do. It's, for the most part, a financial decision and a way to simplify my life a little. Down sizing sounds really attractive to me right now. A 2700 SQ FT house on 2 acres has just become too much for a very weary single mom, working 3rd shift. I would like time to go back to school and spend more quality time with the kids. Although Joseph & Summer are very upset at the idea of moving from their much loved home and neighborhood (I am too) I know in the long run they will understand the benefit for our family.

Joseph, the runner

2006-09-26T04:04:00.000-04:00

Today at school, Joseph came in first place in the mile run. I just happened to be at the school volunteering and found out about it through word of mouth from the other kids in his class. I admit it, I got teary eyed, much to Joseph's embarrassment. It made me proud, of course, but even more than that Joseph really needed something like this to boost his confidence. And he sure did glow!! Now there is one thing about Joseph, he is extremely resistent to participating in sports, but when I told him that running is a sport, he really liked the idea of that. We will see........maybe Joseph will follow in the tradition of his "running" family. For the first time since my children were born I was able to pull out a few of my old trophys, plaques and newspaper clippings and they were actually interested!!!!

Creative Joseph

2006-09-18T05:36:00.000-04:00

My son, Joseph, is so creative. Ever since he was little he has been making up his own games. He sees a game at a friends house and he comes home and makes his own version. For years he has been creating his own mazes, wordfinds, crossword puzzles, boardgames, drawing wonderful pictures, etc. He will spend hours creating them, while all the other kids are out running around or sitting playing video games or watching television. Recently he started writing his own stories. Of course, Summer and I are his captive audience. But I feel sad because I so often do not take the time to sit and play with him. I know one day I will look back and wonder what I was doing with all my time? Was that conversation with my friend on the phone or that clean bathroom worth putting my son aside for "later"? I know it wasn't. So I have really tried to make a consciencous decision to carve out that time for both Joseph and Summer that is theirs only. It has been going well and I can tell that it is making a difference to them.

Joseph and Summer Baptized

2006-08-19T18:37:00.000-04:00

Last November 6, 2005 Summer decided that she wanted to make a public declaration about her faith in Jesus, so we had the privledge of having her baptized at our former church by Troy Dobbs. It was such a special day and she was genuinly excited. My little girl has such a big heart for the Lord. Our neighbors (my adopted parents) Paul & Jeannette were there, as well as the kids dad, Jeff (he had just moved here at that point) and other friends from church. It was, up to that point, the most proud and precious moment of parenthood. Really, what else can compare to that??

Well, Joseph decided he wanted to finally make his public declaration for Christ. So August 13th Joseph had the privledge of being baptized by his dad, the day before Jeff left for his new job at sea. Paul & Jeannette were there to share the special day, once again. All day Joseph glowed. His love for Christ was so apparent. I don't think that anything in my life will match the joy of knowing my children's lives are set apart for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Deep thoughts............

2006-08-03T00:43:00.000-04:00

I just wrote my last blog entry and then I started reading some of my friends blogs and saw a few little tributes to our friendship and their love for the kids and I....... And then my favorite love song to God came on the radio and God's presence just completely overtook me. A mixture of happiness, sadness, regret, contentment, awe, tears and laughter. My life has been an accumulation of ugly (when I am in control) beauty (when God is in control) and blessings (when we work together). I praise God for the incredible friendships I have. Alicia, I love you too. Keep being your sweet, gentle, fragile self............. Nicki, my heart regrets not being part of your life, meeting at the coffee shop and holding each other accountable, getting our girls together for playdates, lifting each other up................ I miss Ilona and the laughter and silliness we shared, as well as our 6 a.m. prayer date every morning. I miss Vegas........I really never thought I would say that. I miss living near my parents. I miss Apex and the house churches I was blessed to be part of. I miss hiking up at Mt. Charleston. I miss homeschooling Joseph & Summer. I miss Chris..........Our long talks, taking the girls to ballet and all 4 kids to gymnastics and bonding as sisters in the Lord................. It is funny how the heart needs distance to understand the depth of our friendships. I have made some new wonderful friends here in Kentucky, and yet it is not the same. I don't long for these friendships because they are here, at my beck and call. This sounds so cliche, but my heart is a mystery. It is only when change & distance happens that I can see things so clearly. Don't get your hopes up though. I don't think the Lord is calling me back to Vegas. We will just have to be content to visit when the time is right.

2006-08-02T22:16:00.000-04:00

I found a babysitter!! Thanks for your prayers. Once again, God has provided for me just in the nick of time. Jeff leaves in less than two weeks and Rebecca moves in this weekend. The kids love her. All is well in the world :)

To my new friend............

2006-08-01T19:35:00.000-04:00

Your officially blogged Dan! Thanks for becoming such a great part of my life.

Prayer Request

2006-07-13T18:06:00.000-04:00

Jeff is leaving again. My ex-husband has been here for a few months and stays with the kids while I work at night. Now he is leaving to work on a cruise ship, which leaves me with the dilemma of finding a babysitter again. So, I am just going to throw this out here..................I need to find someone who is willing to exchange free rent for babysitting. It's 3rd shift, so most people are sleeping anyway (including my kids). It's a pretty good deal. If interested, please apply :) If not, then pray!!!!

A Huckleberry Finn day

2006-07-13T17:04:00.000-04:00

The kids and I went fishing last week. We had a great time. A sort of reinactment of Huckleberry Finn. Fishing off the side of a bridge in Kentucky on a warm summer afternoon. Summer caught 4 fish and Joseph caught 2. I caught a big fat 0 (but whos counting). I spent most of my time baiting the hook with real live worms!!! untangling tangled up line. And taking blue gill off the hooks just to throw them back in the water because they were too small. It was relaxing and peaceful and fun was had by all. The only thing missing was my camera. Sorry - no pictures to post.

Morning note

2006-06-15T07:58:00.000-04:00

This morning I got home from work and pulled into the garage. I sat in my car for a few minutes listening to a song on the radio. My kids have a dry erase board hanging up in the garage that they use to play "school" with. Every morning there are new little drawings and school work that I notice from the previous days playtime. Today my heart melted as I read:

Dear Mommy,
I love you so much
how you tak ker of
me frum when i wus
a baby (big heart)

This is when all that hard work seems worth it.

I must be doing something right

2006-06-11T21:03:00.000-04:00

I work 3rd shift now. I work all night and sleep most of the day. It worked out great up until school ended for the summer. I slept while the kids were at school. Now, they spend most of the day keeping themselves entertained until I wake up. It's been a little bit of an adjustment but it's working well for the most part. Today I had the rare privledge of waking up to a planned surprise. Joseph & Summer had made some lemonade and served it to me in a tea cup, complete with homemade cards telling me how much they love me. Summer said "we did this for you because you work so hard". That was the best cup of watered down lemonade I ever tasted. Later, in the same day, Joseph walked up to me and gave me a hug. MY WORLD STOPPED for a minute. Joseph just doesn't do that. Words can not describe what that hug meant to me. I didn't even say anything. I just hugged him back and then he went off to play. I must be doing something right.

A Kentucky Picnic

2006-05-22T08:54:00.000-04:00

Summer and her friend Olivia decided to have a picnic in our front yard over the weekend. It was a perfect day. Not too hot, not too cool. No humidity. Just perfect for two little girls with a whole free afternoon on their hands.

The von Collenburgs

2006-05-22T08:42:00.000-04:00

My very dear friend, Nicki von Collenburg, called me yesterday. Her and Craig and their children, Brian & Brianna, have been a hugely important part of the kids and I's lives. I am so thankful for this family. They have had hard times, yet they keep holding onto Jesus. Their marriage is an example to me. Their love and devotion to their family and friends makes Jesus smile. How did I get so blessed!!!!!!!! Thanks for calling Nicki, my dear sister in the Lord. My prayers are always with your family.

Caring Heart

2006-05-15T21:10:00.000-04:00

My school graduation was last Friday night. It included all the different programs throughout the whole school and since I already participated in our small & intimate class pinning ceremony (that I wrote about previously) I decided to skip my graduation. Well, today one of my friends, who did decided to attend, called me to tell me that I had won a special award. Only two were given to the entire nursing department. It is called the "Caring Heart" award. The accumulation of my instructors honored me so deeply. I hope that they know it is Jesus, who is in me, who really has the caring heart. And He is using me to live it out in the field of nursing. I pray that I will be able to live up to my title. What a privilege.

Happy Easter!

2006-04-18T00:51:00.000-04:00

He Has Risen!!!! Happy Easter to you and yours from me and them :)

A Job!

2006-04-11T23:35:00.000-04:00

I started my first job as a nurse today. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world to actually be paid to work (I paid to work for the last year as a student nurse). I feel rich. Rich in the Lord. It is only by His grace that I am blessed so abundantly.

I am a Nurse!!!!!!!

2006-04-05T21:41:00.000-04:00

I took my boards yesterday, cried all the way home because I just knew that I bombed the test, stressed my family & friends out, pleaded with God, tossed and turned all night long, checked the Kentucky Board of Nursing website at exactly 24 hours after taking my test and..................there was my name.

Samantha. SSN ******** License # *******, Current Active Licensed Practical Nurse, initial date of licensure in KY 05-APR-06. License is in good standing, no discipline information on file

And just like that, I am a nurse!

Graduation Spring 2006

2006-04-03T16:42:00.000-04:00

Sam's accolade (read by the officiater while Joseph & Summer participated in my "pinning")

God has blessed me richly with supportive family and friends. I am privileged to have walked this walk with each one of these woman standing here tonight. I want to specifically thank Melissa, who will be my friend for life, Jeanette, my spiritual mom and Sara, You have become a sister to me. Finally, I want to thank my children, Joseph & Summer. I did this for you.

I was suppose to keep it under 50 words. I could have written over 500. The people in my life who have loved and supported me up until this place in my life is my greatest pride. My best friend Jenna, who has always been my most dedicated cheerleader, encouraging and supporting me through lifes ups and downs. I could not have made it this far without her. My sweet friend Ilona who always keeps my eyes focused on the Lord, Nicky & Craig, you are my extended family. Chris, my sweet and compassionate sister in the Lord. My parents, my sister, my grandmother, I miss you all so much.

Alicia

2006-04-03T16:12:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to get in touch with my friend Alicia for along time, but she never answers her phone! It's alright though. She is my friend. She has been for years now. And she always will be. I don't expect to talk to her very often, maybe never again...........but she will always be my sister in the Lord Jesus Christ. My little girl, Summer, loves her too. Alicia is probably the person Summer has missed the most since moving here. (I just read your blog today A) Love you!

I take my boards tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. I have studied non-stop for two weeks since I made the appointment. The scripture that God keeps reminding me of is James 1:5-6 "If any of you lack wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given...........when he asks he must believe and not doubt............." So, God knows everything! He created the human body. And although he originally created it perfect, he also knows what goes wrong with it. So, I have this inside track tomorrow. That even though I couldn't possibly have retained everything that might possibly be on that test tomorrow, the creator of the human body will be with me, ready to give me wisdom if I ask. That is pretty cool.

Winter 2006

2006-03-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

Snow Fun!!

1 week from today

2006-03-10T22:51:00.000-05:00

Out of our original class of 48 only "the 8 of us" our graduating together

In one week I will officially be done with school. I will be a Practical Nurse graduate (minus the License until I take my boards). I really have never accomplished anything like this in my life. I am very confident that I have stepped into the place God has called me to be and it is a contented feeling. God willing I will go back soon to get my RN, but for now I will bask in the warmth of this achievment. After not working for 1 1/2 years I am more than ready to join the workforce again, and, hopefully, gain a resemblance of normalicy - especially for Joseph & Summer.

Lonely

2006-03-08T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today I have felt especially lonely. I just wanted someone around to talk too. So I called my friend and I let her talk and talk and talk and talk. It felt good not to talk about myself. I need to do that more. Tonight I met a friend at the gym. We worked out for 2 1/2 hours. It is so much more motivating to have a workout partner. If I go alone I will do a quick 20 minute workout and leave. But what I noticed is that the gym (at night) is a singles social. A whole bunch of lonely single people who don't want to stay at home alone................or maybe that was just me.

A new year

2006-01-13T20:02:00.000-05:00

I haven't written for so long because......................... I forgot my password to my blog. I have a new e-mail address so I couldn't even have it e-mailed to me :)

Well, I am back. Since I last wrote my whole world has changed (well a lot of it).

My fiance and I broke up and my parents moved back to Vegas. And this all happened in the same week, right before the holidays. My whole world seemed to fall down around me and I fell into a depression like never before. It is only by God's grace that I passed all my classes that quarter and that I am healthy again.

I am finishing up my last quarter in school. I take my finals in February and then my preceptorship. I am so excited to be finished. Then my "real" education begins as I start my career in nursing.

This is the short version. The long version is long. I am o.k. now. That is what is important.

2005-09-15T12:06:00.000-04:00

I passed all of my classes!!!!!!!!!!!

5 of the students didn't pass :(

My closest friend in nursing school did!!!!!!!

Now I can breath and relax and enjoy my 2 week break.

My friend took me out last night to celebrate. We stayed out until 4 a.m.

I am getting too old for that...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2005-09-10T18:27:00.000-04:00

I just finished taking my finals for my 2nd quarter at school. The only thing more stressful than finals............is waiting for my grades in the mail. I definitely passed two of my classes but there are two that I am worried about. Going to nursing school is the HARDEST task I have every taken on. 78% and above is passing. Most of our class is right on the line. I read a bible verse this morning about "not fretting", so I am trying not too :)

Now that finals are over, I have a few relationships to repair. I need to spend some much needed quality time with my kids. They miss me and I miss them. Summer is 6 and still experiences separation anxiety, even if I walk out to the mail box. I have to leave her so often. She is also a very emotional little girl. Last night she was sobbing (really sobbing) about a kid on the bus who was making fun of Joseph. She feels so deeply. But she also loves the Lord deeply. That is the one hope I have for her. Joseph needs me too, but he doesn't show it in the same way. The other day he spoke very disrespectfully to me. When I confronted him about it he said "Well, EJ talks to his mom like that". I said "Well, you are not EJ and I am not EJ's mom". If that is not the ultimate mom thing to say.................But I have been trying to spend some alone time with him. I feel like I will "lose" him if I don't. Brian is a football coach and so I try to take him to the local football games. He seems to respond very well to that "guy" time. And I do too - I never imagined that I would actually enjoy football games for the sport and not just the social opportunity.

The Chiropracter

2005-08-08T17:43:00.000-04:00

I am so stressed out with school that my whole back (at least it felt like it) twisted up in knots. I went to the chiropractor, after school today, in excruciating pain. A 9 on a scale from 1-10!!! He put me on a massage bed with heat for about 20 minutes and then worked out the knots (extremely painful) and then cracked me up :)

Little Fish

2005-07-25T21:29:00.000-04:00

Both Joseph & Summer are official swimmers, as of yesterday!! Our neighbors just had a pool built and so we were invited over for a pool party (Our neighbors use anything as an excuse to have a party). Anyway, the kids both started out with floaties and then decided to ditch them and start jumping in at the deep end. It was one of those awesome parent moments. Another step to independence!

Sorry I can't write more, time to get back to studying.........................

A little down

2005-07-01T23:19:00.000-04:00

You know, it is a little more difficult to figure what to write when things are not going so well.............. This has been a difficult few weeks. I started my 2nd quarter at school. I am already overwhelmed and have only been back for one week. My parents are living with me for a while and that is just difficult in itself (not them or I, just the loss of retreat). Brian has been out of town for 2 weeks on vacation and even though I wouldn't have much time to see him if he were here, he's NOT here!!!! I miss him. And my back hurts!!!! Please pray for me. I know that this is all for just a season. I just like the easier seasons better.........................Praise God for his refining fire.

Jesus's Blood

2005-06-13T13:54:00.000-04:00

We took communion yesterday in church, in which Summer spilled some grape juice on her dress. So, last night Summer took off her church dress and asked grandma to wash it. Grandma asked her what she spilled all over it. "Jesus's blood" was Summer's answer.

Nursing school

2005-06-13T12:34:00.000-04:00

I made it through my first quarter in nursing school!!!! It was tough!!!! We started out as a class of 48 and only about 15 of us passed. I think the main problem was that many in the class were young and unmotivated, living at home, or someone else was footing the bill. In contrast, I am VERY motivated. I have two children and no income coming in. I have put a lot on the line to take this step, and there is no going back. The biggest factor though, is that I believe God has called me to do this. I have had a peace about it and am excited to see where He takes me.

The kids are doing great. Summer has a difficult time sharing me with my "study time", but seems to understand that it is just temporary. Joseph has adjusted well to Kentucky life. He loves the space and playing with all the boys in our neighborhood. It must be in the water!!!

My New Life

2005-03-24T21:38:00.000-05:00

Starting to blog for the first time is a little overwhelming. Where do I start?????????

I called my blog Samantha's Song because I feel like singing (in privacy of course)!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have grown by leaps and bounds in Jesus. He has brought me out of the desert - my spiritual desert AND my physical desert. I am not sure exactly why but I felt so lost in Las Vegas, like I never really belonged. My parents were there. My friends were treasures. My kids were happy. We had stability and routine. But I always knew I wasn't meant to stay there. I wanted a different life for my kids. For two or three years I prayed about where I was suppose to go, but God never gave me any peace about a location. Back to California? Florida near my sister? Wisconsin (Oh, my sweet days in Madison). But when I least expected it God called me to Louisville, Kentucky. Of all places!!! At first I fought it. But, I just knew. I finally felt that allusive peace I had been searching for. So.................I called up my good friend Adam Hunt, put my house up for sale, closed my business that was only 5 months old, sold my house in a little over a month, packed up, sadly said goodbye to many friends who had invested so much of their love into my kids and I's lives, and we were on the road to our new home.

Since arriving here I continue to be amazed, daily, at seeing God's will revealed. My mom recently made the comment that it was a 50/50 chance that this would be a good move. I disagreed, knowing that God's peace about it was overwhelming. The only question was what would I actually do when I arrived................................Well, here I am. God has given me a much needed 4 months vacation. Well, not really a vacation (I AM a single mother!). But, some time to settle, make my house a home, adjust, meet new people, get involved at a new church, put my kids in school, excercise, pray ALOT, and figure out what I want to do when I grow up. So, I offically start nursing school on Monday. Wow!!! It is only by God's grace and strength that I have gotten to this point. I am finally home............at least my home here on planet earth.

Just a note about people in Kentucky................they are so darn friendly!!!!!!! and then someone reminded me that I do now live in the Bible belt.........................

Well, I hope that this will be a good way to keep in touch. Love to all my friends who will find the time to read my blog. God bless.